Lilith, Half Dressed (PAST)

NUUUUUUUUUUUUU

2009-10-08T02:01:00.002+11:00

NO NO NO!

You're at the wrong place!! BUT IT'S ONLY A RECENT CHANGE.

I'm here:

here

shiny happy...!

I've had too much to say lately so I haven't posted anything...

2009-10-01T14:42:00.002+10:00

Secluded desk

sad yellow girl

a tear drop.

Falls

from glass

like melted icecubes.

Leftover rain

stuck to eyelashes

drips.

ALGAE RHYTHM 0.05: PORTALS

2009-09-17T09:30:00.005+10:00

ALGAE RHYTHM 0.05 will focus on transportation through time, into familiar and foreign memories, lands and fantasies. It is about storytelling (what we know, what we have experienced and how it has shaped out present being), creation (how we can express our story and what it means to us) and prediction (we have an idea of what we are here in the now, but what might we be like in the future and furthermore, in a different universe?)

Supernatural forces may be conjured, our former selves may come back to haunt us or that one sought moment of clarity and purpose may rise to the surface.

Feel free to interrogate the deities on topics such as fate, purpose and why things are as they are. Feel free to leave this time-space for another or step into the skin of an alternate you.

Clare Devlin- Mahoney presents an interactive installation experience, a portal journey complete with map and kit and the opportunity for you to leave your mark all over the shop.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind will feature upon the borrowed walls up and over the shed roof whilst sipping on all you can drink GINGER RHYTHM (home brewed alcoholic ginger beer) courtesy of Civilised Pig (Dan Simmonds).

Other secret suprises will present themselves as we spend the night opening doors and unlocking treasure boxes. You won't go home empty handed as lovingly hand crafted zines and gifts are showered down on you with glitter!

$5 donation covers a minute portion of the money spent to give you what we hope is a magical experience. Something to eat/drink would also be swell.

RSVP please! Easiest way to get on the limited number guest list is to go to the secet facebook group ALGAE RHYTHM

and request to be added!! No FB? It's okay, just e-mail me (see below).

The Punk Monk Propaganda-ists.

NEWSFLASH: This A.R will feature a bunch of artists and their spin on PORTALS.

A LIST OF CONTRIBUTORS- installations and artbits (AND GROWING):

Alexander Papasavvas
Clare Devlin- Mahoney
Irnin Kahn
Manuela Owsinski
David Hadley

...more to be announced.
WANT TO CONTRIBUTE? e-mail me at clare@punk-monk.com.

Moss-run

2009-09-07T16:39:00.006+10:00

First step of Moss terrarium creation: moss collection.

Bouddi National Park

Sometimes I need to Get Out

2009-09-04T13:51:00.005+10:00

Sometime's I need to get out of the city and return to my origins.

(Photos by--Top: Manuela, Bottom: Alexander)

Laika in Space Space

2009-08-31T17:57:00.010+10:00

I was lucky enough to go along to an afternoon put on by the space|space crew over in Paddington called The Enthusiast; a tight nit crew of laid back peeps hanging out in their shed-like space, chatting about what they’re enthused about and chewing on candy whilst being projecting s film. As I perceive, each afternoon (held once a month) will feature a different Enthusiast, enthused about a different subject and projecting it upon the rest of the crew. It was enjoyable and refreshing and we like these guys even more after we attended their first exhibition Cosmic Peephole (featuring a glock light box, a beautiful bird roof installation and a live psychadelic liquid light projection (ala Psychochemical Algae rhythm) with a guitar impro amonst other cool stuff)! These guys are getting the non-pretentious but seriously sweet experimental art show dig!

Enthusiast #1 featured some Laika enthusiasm; the small dog sent to space as a test, and without food inevitably starving to death. The preceding speech of Hallstrom’s film screening came from the heart of Caiti Dircks who lovingly spoke of the sadness she felt for Laika and related to young Ingemar of the film to come. There were book excerpts and we listened to an Arcade Fire track Neighbourhood #2 (Laika):

Our mother should have just named you Laika!
It's for your own good
It's for the neighborhood

Proving how far the story of Laika has spread and affected people.Then she spoke of her ideas about our last moments of life and took a photo of us all to remind her and show others, perhaps when she is old, that she had all these wonderful friends who hung out and did fun things together. Though not in the inner circle, Alex and I hope to attend again and get to know these people better so that our presence in that photo may not be lost somewhere down the track.

The film:

Lasse Hallstrom’s a generous director with a lot of love for his audience. He is delicate and sensitive without resorting to sensationalism or cliché story arches to prompt an emotional response. In both his handling of characters and his projection onto his audience, the human ambiguities present in the story are treated in a European style of filmmaking, easing you and guiding you as you join a little boy’s journey.

Ingemar surveys the world with innocent wonder and an almost alien curiosity as he naively tries to find his place in an adult world. His struggle continues to end in hopelessness, as he fails daily to let his mother rest through her terminal illness, his accidental misbehaving sending her into hysterical fits of screaming and crying. He seems takes control of his own sweet controlled universe where he happily devotes himself to his girlfriend and she he, innocently and shortlived he decides to live out in the field with his dog, with the objective of giving his mother- who he idealises despite her notable absence and negligence- some time to get better.

However well his attempted mature distancing of life’s very real dramas, where worse troubles such as Laika’s plight into space and subsequent death which narrated at the forefront of Ingemar’s galaxy, his naivety only makes his tragedy even more devastating. His mother will die, he will be “left over,” and he will have to figure out how to grow up wondering why “you didn’t want me, Mama?”

When he is cast out, after several incidents such as setting the haystacks where he intended to live ablaze and with his brother and him having to be self-sustaining with a mother in bed and a father out on the horizon somewhere picking bananas, he is sent to live with his uncle in a surreal town of quirky characters; each with an idiosyncrasy and each with a small gift of wisdom to help Ingemar come to grips with childhood and his own worth. He leaves his dog behind, hoping he too won’t suffer the plight of Laika.

Issues of sex and death surround the plot and make it an overwhelmingly relatable experience about the difficulties of learning how to find a place for these in a tiny but growing heart. I want to use the word gem again, but I won’t but this little film has everything so if you haven’t seen it- find it and watch it, it’ll make you feel nice.

2009-08-30T17:43:00.002+10:00

Mushroom Doodles

2009-08-28T15:39:00.016+10:00

A few days before the Know Your Mushrooms Possible World's event at Red Rattler, I asked myself: Can I make a zine as well as help organise all the decorations/installations for the night? Zine making for Punk Monk Propaganda- involved events has become a tradition of sorts for fellow Punk Monkey Alexander and I and somewhat of an obsession since we thought we'd try it out at ALGAE RHYTHM 0.01 earlier in the year.

Crafting this zine was especially fun as I explored the mushroom santa theory, anti- drug propaganda posters, old shaman rituals and ancient cultural practises with mushrooms, subverted penis envy and with Alex's collaboration and ever-valuable contributions doodled my way until completed was a zine.

The feedback on the night was really flattering and I even spied some young men fleeing the scene with more than their share of zines and silver shiny mushrooms, magic glinting in their mischievous eyes. A zine with catcus mushroom smudges lay atop the tinned stash, Director Ron Mann tells me about his research on comics (Comic Book Confidential) and how much he loves our zine is and at the end of the night there are no zines left in the FREE ZINES box and not a single one is left behind abandoned. Very satisfying for what was meant to be a throw together zine.

Additionally we found the cheapest photocopying place thus far in the heart of china town (Thanks Karina for this one!). Listen up fellow zine makers:

"Design and Print"

413-415 Sussex Street, Haymarket 2000

0292800839

We photocopied something like 210 pages for 15 bucks. The crazy lady running the extremely busy shop said we could have 400 pages for 20 bucks... but we opted to pay 5 bucks less and not have to take care of that many pages. We were in and out in no time chuffed! Our new favourite hangout is Design and Print Chinatown, what an experience!

Ever want one of our zines just contact: clare@punk-monk.com (that's me). All our zines are a labour of love and therefore free to all.

Before Tomorrow: Why must we die?

2009-08-25T09:27:00.004+10:00

Before Tomorrow is a unique cinematic experience. I felt incredibly blessed I was able to watch it- and it was only by random chance that I decided to go. Once the film begun I realized that I was meant to witness this beautiful and tragic tale. The film’s main narrative surrounds a boy and his grandmother dispossessed from their Inuit tribe whose fate they alone escaped. To survive they narrate and create stories. The grandmother leads with great burden in her heart but with complete love speaking of a greater place and they wander two lone seekers towards an unreachable horizon. What would it be like to be the last two people on earth?

The harsh and untamable force of the Arctic environment, the experience of almost complete loss and grief and the physical turmoil of desperate search for life presents a very different and pathos reality over idealized utopia of grandmother’s story. There is an underlying sensation of endlessness which brings out a vicarious fear for audiences, as they imagine the horror of being ‘left behind’. However, the film is an uplifting one, with a beautiful message and a powerful image of the Inuit as joyful, loving humans who depend upon the powerful ties within their tribe and laugh heartily at the very newly discovered oddities of western culture blissfully unaware of it’s threat. The film presents this full circle- the spirits of those passed are called upon for guidance throughout with a beginning and closure of complete joy as given by the gift of family.

Presently lusciously, the cinematography generously documents with great detail and affection both the breathtaking and encapsulating landscape of the Tundra and the genuine presence and poignancy of its inhabitants. Not unlike a dream or meditation, the filmic rhythm slowly laps onwards, each moment savoured and given time to settle and each small piece of the journey moving us towards an enlightened state. The all female Arnait Video collective of North Canada have community, cultural preservation and storytelling down to a beautiful art form. Find and See Before Tomorrow.

The Spores Have Been Released!

2009-08-24T15:26:00.022+10:00

Know Your Mushrooms, gem of Possible World's Canadian Film Festival premiered in Australia last Saturday night alongside a psychedelic carnivale of kaleidoscopic colour, dancing glowing bodies, circus tricks and pure devotion to the fungi. All hailed the man (Ron Mann) who brought us this combination of tripped out adventures, scientific teachings, fungi worship, pop culture pastiche and eye opening knowledge about the magic, joy and healing functions of the mushroom. The message: we can save the universe with the help of this prehistoric fungi, we just need to know it, love it, embrace it- Fungi phobia ends here.

Ron Mann accompanied the Punk Monk faeries and curious Sydney siders, travellers and mushroom gypsies in what he described as the most amazing celebration of his 2008 documentary to date. Who are all these amazing fire twirlers, hula hoopers, musicians, street artists, projection bombers, liquid light alchemists and chocolate cactus wizards? They’re our friends and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends who have been drawn out of the cracks of Sydney’s underground to do something interesting with their Saturday night and contribute to what makes Sydney such a wonderful place for collaboration and celebration.

The Inner West’s current coolest venue The Red Rattler (Marrickville) played the perfect host for the bubbling activities of the night; an alley way warehouse rescued by five queer women with a mission; to lower venue prices and provide a platform for artist run events and experiments. Anything can go down at a Red Rattler event so check them out: redrattler.org.

A copy of the Know Your Mushrooms zine featuring an ominous penis mushroom cover and a short film capturing some of the psychadelia mushroom vibe are coming to Lilith’s blogspot soon.

Stay tuned for a totally different experience as I embark on my next Possible World’s festival adventure: Darryl’s Hard Liquor and Porn Festival at Bobbi’s Pole Studio.

Possible World’s Canadian Film Festival is still running until Wednesday so check it out: possibleworlds.net.au

(All photos by Susie Stavert: susie@susiejstavert.com.au except this last one by Punk Monk Andy Finn- see more at awolmonk.blogspot.com)

Child Lies to Parents #1004

2009-07-23T12:04:00.003+10:00

I haven’t told my parents I’m a vegetarian. I’ve been a vegetarian for two years now. It troubles me and I’ve been trying to figure out why the subject of not eating meat is such a daunting one when it comes to my parents. I have a long history of disputes with my father over the choices I’ve made for my life and for my future (or lack of in his opinion) and left/ was banished from home due to a clash of ideals in this arena. I have stood up to him on every single issue and struggled for my freedom, however this simple confession makes me feel physically ill. Not only am I having daddy dramas but I almost feel guilty when I consider coming out to my step mother that I am one of “those” people. In high school I willingly contended/pretended that I was a lesbian in a relationship with my bestie, that I was a pill popping drug addict, that I was having the baby of my dropkick bogan boyfriend… all just to scare my parents, why can’t I just tell them that I do not eat meat. There was a time I would have enjoyed the look of horror on their faces.

Visits home, infrequent as they are, usually equate to some small amount of meat being consumed to distract my parents from this fact. These have merely sparked rumours of an eating disorder which I have emphatically denied. I feel chained and a child again, as I just recoil and pretend and give in. And maybe I find comfort in this. I go home and I am taken care of; meals are made for me, I get a big bedroom with a TV in it, central heating, a pantry full of snacks, even a car at my disposal… I like to go back to this normality, to where I don’t make any adult decisions, I don’t have to work on any adult relationships, do any housework, pay any bills… my parents aren’t ever going to change. I have my freedom now, I have a whole separate life my parents don’t even try to understand anymore, let alone affect, but it’s also full of responsibility and stressful choices and I am free of that when I go home. I like civil even if it means repression and letting a couple of things go. I am not a vegetarian at home because I was not brought up that way, because my dad is a doctor and he knows what’s best for my health, because my step-mum slaves away in the kitchen to make good meals for me and because if I am a vegetarian then I’ve been lying for the last two years and what’s the meaning of that?

Recently my boyfriend’s mother almost outed me at a family lunch for my 21^st birthday when talking about Alex’s vegetarianism asked “but isn’t Clare a vegetarian too?”( she has made me vegetarian meals before after all). Her response was “not in our house she’s not!!” with a sound of surprise from my parents.

So in their house I’m a traitor, to myself, to what I believe in, to what my body needs, and though the amounts consumed are small, I am still a coward and a fake. My parents accept that version of me and may even know deep down that I feed them a lot of watered down accounts of my life in return for peace.

I must consider now though if it is time to grow up and come out and stop feeling sick about it.

Dad, Step-Mum: I am a dirty, enviro- loving, anti-meat, vege loving, hippy and I am considering one day, when my hair is long enough, getting my hair put into dreadlocks.

*runs away.

Missing Peg.

2009-07-22T22:27:00.004+10:00

I'm not sure if it's obvious... but I miss my best friend.

Sad Sack Needs Communication

2009-07-08T23:54:00.003+10:00

Sometimes listening for what hasn’t been said is the key to understanding communication breakdowns. I have learnt this the hard way.

Communication is not letting one person blab about how every day is the worst day of their lives and wishing you were doing something, anything else. It’s not blame games via myspace blogs. It is not snarky text messages asking who ate the last of the biscuits or left the fridge door open. It most certainly isn’t assuming that because someone can’t always focus all their energy on you and your problems that they hate you or are disgusted by you. You know what else is definitely, definitely isn’t? returning all the photographs you have of a person to the person (the already horrified, traumatized and downbeaten person who doesn’t even realize where it all went wrong) These are made up thoughts, misdirected and meaningless words/actions and repressed real emotions and often really cruel ways to hide true meaning. These are dead ends and poor relationship management skills on both ends.

I grew up in a household where when people were angry or upset they yelled at one another in order to communicate feeling/s. Aggression is not the best form of expression but it is still a form and at least I always knew where I stood. Though I have always put my own feelings on the backburner, being somewhat of a martyr and like my mother; always wanting those around me to be happy (before I myself could possibly consider my own happiness), I have learnt a lot about emotional responsibility in my (almost) 21 years of life. Firstly that my happiness is my responsibility and that others happiness is not my responsibility. When I say responsibility I mean that there is only one leader and perhaps everyone around them is part of a team they may utilise to guide and assist them in their own happiness but in the end if it all falls apart there are no scapegoats.

I believe that communication, spoken and unspoken, natural and prompted, is the glue in relationships. No matter how horrible you feel about your life, it is your responsibility to take control and steer it in the direction you want it to go in and usually this involves letting others in that can help you. You cannot always expect people to guess or just “know” somehow when you are stuck or needing help and you especially cannot blame others for your own unhappiness. COMMUNICATION.

Unfortunately unhappiness is a little infectious, especially when living or working in close confines to other sad sacks. When I was a kid, I had some sessions with a child therapist because I had trouble communicating and understanding other children. I blamed other children for the fact that they weren’t my friends- it must have been them, not me. I became paranoid and self-hating from the young age of 7. Luckily I was trained out of these negative thought patterns (not that I ever became miss popular) and realized I was just being a freak and that other children also liked walking around the playground picking flowers and singing to them and making daisy chains and that it was up to me to find them and befriend them. I was also encouraged to make up an imaginary figure called “sad sack”- a sad little boy version of me with blonde hair and blue eyes who understood my feelings of isolation and who I could unload onto instead of risking one day exploding from repression and alienation and also so I could stop using the people who cared about me as sad sack punching bags of blame and guilt. I always thought creating imaginary friends was an interesting activity for trying to mend an inability to make real ones… but it worked okay (although I’m still a bit of a freak- but I discovered there are other freaks too so it’s all cool!).

Do you think you might need a sad sack so you can stop being one?

P.S I’d dedicate this to someone in particular but I’m hoping one day we might re-kindle our friendship.

Gifts of Creation

2009-06-10T23:18:00.006+10:00

Isn't it the most heartwarming feeling to know someone has put in the effort to create something from scratch especially for you? To spend an amount of time put aside especially in your honour? To think you deserving of an art; a creation? I was once having a low self esteem period when I received a package in the mail. It was from my good friend Camm who I had confided in about my "face hatred". He cared enough to write the words "You are Pretty" on every 365 days of a desk calender and send it to my house. It worked miracles for my confidence and love for mankind.

The above painting was created by my amazing friend Manu, a fellow kindred spirit and beautiful artist who I adore and constantely worry about as she flits from place to place leaving behind little mementos and markings of her wonderful being and gets herself into all sorts of mischiefs. It is the most time and effort anyone has ever put into a creation based on "me" or for me.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful and inspiring friends.

Colour in Winter

2009-06-09T00:26:00.012+10:00

Colour in Winter, in the vain of Algae Rhythm, brought together a bunch of wonder-filled kids and not-kids to exercise creative freedom as well as all our other favourite past times- drinking, smoking, kissing, mingling, making new friends, catching up with old ones and being full of spirit and joy altogether. As we say goodbye to Autumn, my favourite coloured month- it was refreshing to breathe some colour into newly arrived Winter- even though it was a beautiful spring-like day anyway. If you're moving house and find your walls are too blank- feel free to hire us for your painting/decorating/life breathing needs.

We're getting treats!!

2009-06-05T01:20:00.003+10:00

My girl housemates announced they were going to get treats yesterday afternoon and I was lucky to glimpse them before they left the house in matching colours, ear muffs, newly dyed hair and roller blades. I managed to scream "WAIT" and grab my camera before they scrambled out the front door.I caught them at the top of the front porch stairs wondering how to get down having already put on their roller blades, then choosing the side of the house, slipping a little but making it and off they went: two skater babes gliding off towards snack land. Unfortunately I didn't get them nearly stacking it a bunch of times on the wet pavement and crawling at a rate slower than walking across four suburbs to their destination- but I can imagine and it's just as adorable.

Your walls are alive

2009-06-04T14:41:00.003+10:00

I have seen everything.
I have seen your naked body
glimmering in the early morning window light haze
and the rise and fall of your chest as it relaxes next to your lover post-passion
I have seen you alone
Hiding
Collecting your tears in notebooks, ticking away over each life decision
And with others, swimming in other people’s angst and concern
Trying to swim away, but conceding to remain in some way human
I have heard you speaking to yourself
Telling yourself everything will always be okay ten times over
Begging for it to be true
Promising yourself things will change
I have heard your thoughts
As you glance over and no-one looks back
As you will someone to look
As you withdraw and deny it is needed, lone warrior
I noticed the time you lit those candles
and poured over old photographs
you again re-arranged the furniture, because you can’t sleep at night
I felt it when those words stung you and you delicately brought that knife back into you room
Just in case
I feel when you hold your breath
Tense your every muscle
Close your eyes to the world
I am still there
I know you
I have seen you in every form of nakedness
Your walls are alive
And I am your house

I've been making zines

2009-06-02T17:29:00.006+10:00

(These were created by Alex and I for Punk Monk Propaganda's monthly Algae Rhythm nights. More info on this to come....)

Love Your Sad

2009-05-31T15:26:00.004+10:00

“when I laid my head on my pillow that night, my eyes filled with tears, “I weep therefore I love”, I told myself with rapturous melancholy”
-Simone De Beauvoir

It is part of the human condition to feel great sadness for great reasons and also for no reason at all; it serves an important evolutionary purpose (we evolve to learn how to protect ourselves, to overcome great burden, communicate our emotions to others and gain support- most importantly we learn how to be at one with our sadness and employ it for greater happiness). We change. It is a beautiful process; these kinks in our journey decorating life. People often get the urge and are encouraged to speed up their journey back onto the path of happiness -pill popping anti-depressants and feeding the greed of corporate pharmaceutical companies who push for quick diagnoses for people with quite normal sadness [in my opinion quite necessary sadness].

Blunt these emotions? Deprive us of the most natural processes of grieving? Discourage reflecting on those events in our lives which leave us changed forever? I mean real reflection, deep, deep reflection- that kind of reflection that comes only when you know that things will never be the same again. I feel very close to these times in my life.

Besides, some of the most beautiful art has been the result of quite negative emotions- it is self therapeutic and a great gift to society that that person experienced those particular emotions and allowed themselves so much to feel them and be aware of them that they are able to share them with the universe. REVEAL YOURSELF. This is freedom.

Suffering exists. It has to exist. All this obsession with happiness and pleasure is often at the root of suffering in the first place. Ignorance is not seeing the world as it is (essentially full of necessary suffering and crisscrossing paths of bliss and hardship) and leaves our minds undeveloped and unable to progress. This is imprisonment.

I’ve flushed my anti-depressants down the toilet and learnt to play, control, and love, cherish and learn from the times I’ve felt down. I’ve had to force myself to let my loved ones love me when I need them to, harness the energy of sadness when I am alone and down and figure out, in a way study myself, and constantly learn who I am and how I work (or don’t work sometimes.)

Feel glad for your feelings as they are unique and precious and yours. Don't be afraid of finding things hard. Things brighten just as they fade, but if you need to cry, cry. I am here for you, always. Besides, you look so beautiful when you cry.

I'm Going Exploring

2009-05-27T23:45:00.003+10:00

I am stuck in a funny place at the moment. I am located somewhere between Sesame and Discovery streets (i.e. the comforting, childlike past and the uncertain, opportunity filled future). I should not rely on other people to drive me to Discovery street- I should use these legs I have and take myself and I should embrace change because "change is like a holiday" and I really really need a holiday.

The end for a caterpillar is the beginning for the butterfly.

To be continued...

Autumn Is My Favourite

2009-05-26T22:16:00.003+10:00

Psycho -Spiritual Jewel Fulfilment

2009-05-26T00:10:00.007+10:00

"Visions are not available in all this frenetic foolishness and yelling and pushing; visions are only obtainable in silence and meditation" (La Dolce Vita)

Something that needs to replace every billboard in the universe because it seems humans do need constant reminding.

I Don't Smoke

2009-05-23T19:24:00.006+10:00

" I DON'T SMOKE"

There is a dichotomous lingering effect that accompanies giving up smoking. There is a swinging anxiety and shifting feeling for social experience which makes the physicality of quitting seem like such a dream. The cravings which begin as mental twangs and body shivers eventually leave; the lungs clean out and your energy can bounce around 100% more than when you were a"smoker" and you don't wake up with that dirty ashy breathe which lodges in the back of your phlegm filled throat. You can hear your body rejoicing, singing "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

The grateful, abounding joy of your body soon dwindles when you find yourself in a social situation.

You find yourself talking to a pretty boy (or pretty girl) in a group of many and suddenly one announces they are going out for a smoke [ok] and then just as suddenly your pretty boy (or girl) decides to join [ok..] and then suddenly everyone peels away and leaves you abandoned, surrounded by empty cushions on a horizon of empty floorboards [NOT OK!!] You want so badly to respond in the once natural and greatly familiar way and trail after them, armed with tobacco to roll, filters, papers and ready to ask to borrow your new friend's lighter (how many friends I have made this way I cannot count!) But you chose health. Unfortunately in a blindly disgusting, hipster, indie Sydney scene which I often find myself in, everybody smokes. I chose health, and often that choice means dealing with new forms of abandonment from my prior smoking crew, my lover, isolation from potential friends and some intense nostalgia from the loss of some really comforting habits like sharing a smoke with someone with limited time before the bus, smoking in the bath whilst reading a good book, trading tobacco for a filter or paper, liking the taste of kissing a co-smoker, coffee and cigarettes altogether and that one last smoke to get you to bed.

I guess it's a real form of grief. It would be easier if no-one else in the universe smoked, if all my favourite movies weren't riddled with the habit (I used to love Jim Jarmusch for his smoking references now I find it hard watching him without one in my hand), if my housemates didn't smoke all around me inside the house and if in social situations I wasn't left, a "non- smoker" on the inside of that wall, divided and blocked from the possible world on the other side.

"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."- William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, "The Argument", 1790

....

Got any tobacco?

Wunian

2009-05-14T21:59:00.006+10:00

Wunian is a Proto- Germanic word comprising of stages of dwelling. To dwell is to live and be, to remain, to start to place your surroundings (to take ownership of your dwelling) and to accept and be at one with these ways. Wunian is a peaceful word. You cannot truly dwell and achieve wunian unless you remain in a state of peace with how you are, how you live and how you 'be'.

This here is my favourite place in the world. I like to think my mother dwells here. It is certainly what I think of when I consider 'home'- it is a part of my identity, my true self that can achieve peace and clarity. Fields meet, meadows, meet rainforests, meet boulders, meets 36 degree views of the bay- all twinkling and vibrant and alive. I am alone but I am with the entity that is Bouddi and it embraces me.

Little Lost Soldiers

2009-05-13T22:12:00.007+10:00

I found more treasure! It's everywhere!! ATTN ALL: Keep your eyes peeled for hidden gems!

These were camouflaged on the turf outside 'The Bower' in Marrickville (appropriate as it is a centre for the 'Lost Artefact' and many treasures can be found both there and at 'Reverse Garbage' around the corner). There came a flash of a young boy grubby in the dirt setting these soldiers against the evil robot (and perhaps paying him off with a pink star button??), a flash of a market stall selling these lost little toys once a huge hit for young school boys, a flash of all the hands they have passed through; all the stories they've inherited and have stored in their tiny plastic outers. It makes me glad that this collector's hobby has not outdated yet!

Treasures

2009-05-12T18:13:00.009+10:00

Retreating to nature is one of the most important things a person can do. It sets your mind free and cleanses your entire body; plus you discover some of the most beautiful treasures. I get so blissed out when this happens- I remain fully mindful and meditative, "stable as a rock." All the old labels and instilled thought patterns, all the ugly, pollutive habits and superficial descriptions all peel away to reveal an untainted truth which cannot lie to you; it is what it is, which reminds you that you are what you are.

I have returned to the blog world! It's nice. I will do my best to put up pretty pictures, whimsical musings, snippets of worldly info and some little things pertaining to my life. This entry features photos from my trip with Alexander to Nelson Bay/ Soldier's Point a couple of weeks ago- we had a splendid time and returned rejuvinated.